Father’s Day has come and gone for another year. I have to admit I’m relieved.
Two times a year (we’re big on birthdays in our family) I to try and reign the troops to participate, behave, and cooperate in focusing on daddy and making him feel special. Every year (twice) I fall on my face and fail. It is a suicide mission… year after year.
This Father’s Day was no different. As hard as I tried my poor husband did not get a gloriously pampered day like he deserved. We didn’t even make it to breakfast without early wake ups, a massive tantrum, more kids crying, and an authority stand off. We were ready to wave the white flag and it wasn’t even 8:00am!
In my head I had the best day planned for my husband. I was going to let him sleep in. I was going to quietly get ready so when the kids woke up I could get them ready. We were all going to jump in bed and wake up daddy with (very thoughtful) gifts, kisses, and most importantly smiles. We are going to start our day with love, laughter, and joy.
Moms, why do we pretend this can be a reality?! The only part of this fantasy plan that came true was my husband did open presents…. but more on that to come.
Let me walk you through our morning…
6:45am I wake up to chatter on P’s monitor. I quickly open my eyes and see my husband laying on her floor already caring to her.
Fail #1- daddy did not get to sleep in.
Our kids have a 7:00am rule on weekends. They are not to come to our room or leave theirs until 7:00am. We need sleep! And they listen very well… normally. However, Father’s Day of all days P ignores her color changing clock. Father’s Day of all days I sleep through her first round of help cries making daddy tend to her.
Since P was taken care of I got up, ready and pumped. Although I’m still breast feeding, M sleeps through the night (HALLELUJAH), therefore a pump session is needed every morning before I feed him. After I was done I came out to our bedroom to find P, M, and daddy in our bed. N is chatting away in his crib and K is sound asleep.
Fail #2- we did not wake daddy as a family together in the morning.
I thought at least we could now work together and get some of the kids ready in their church clothes. WRONG! P insists presents need to be opened in her pajamas. I ignored her tantrum and moved on to the boys. K was still asleep.
7:15am the boys are dressed. P has her focus on the gifts. K was STILL SLEEPING! At this point M is starting to get hungry but we need to keep the morning going so he needed to wait… que crying.
When I thought of Father’s Day gifts I found something I thought was thoughtful, sentimental, and perfect for our daddy. It is a coin for him to connect in a little pouch to his fire turnout gear. It reads “Stay safe dad we love you.” I had other little let meaningful gifts (so each kid could present him with one) but I wanted the main one for last. Sometime during the morning P had come up with her own order… making the (read: my) main gift first.
Que full blown end of the world tantrum!
Now yes I could have caved and said hell with it just have him open it first. However with our P we need to stand our ground. Even on the petty pointless things. Once a tantrum has started their is no caving. She is smart. She is stubborn. She is tricky. She will be a lawyer once she can figure out how to stop the tears in midst her arguments. So for better or worse our strategy now is to let her cry it out. A good five (or twenty… or thirty) minute screaming and crying fit and she’s good. Logic makes its way to her brain and we find a solution.
7:30am all the screaming and crying finally woke up K. M was still fussy for breakfast so I gave him a quick feed. We reasoned with our control freak toddler. We concluded if she let mommy pick present order she can pick daddy’s outfit for the day. WIN!! Daddy got ready and waiting for his special day to “start”.
7:50am we open presents. Now gift giving is NOT one of my husbands love languages. However where it is his last it is my first. I LOVE thinking of and give gifts (I also love receiving them!) With that said disappointment was inevitable. Every holiday it is, and every holiday I am crushed by the lack of appreciation my husband gives off.
Fail #3- daddy did not like his gifts.
At this point I was down and out and just mustered it up as a loss.
8:00am and Father’s Day was over. Better luck next year.
How were your Father’s Days? How do you survive other holidays with kids? At least in our crazy household special events and/or holidays never seem to go as planned (or as well as all my mom friends on Facebook!) Failure or not this is life with four kids and my husband knows it. After all aren’t they the best Father’s Day gift anyway?
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